what's a dream tell you?

I had a dream about a penis last night. I don't know whose it was, but it was big. I literally never saw a face, or a body or heard a voice. As most dreams go, I don't really remember what happened in the dream and it was that weird feeling like, Wait, was that real? No? Okay, hmm, well, no. No. Okay phew. I have to admit that normally the ever dreadful 'wait did that really happen last night or was I dreaming' feeling occurs only on a weekend morning after a long night of intoxication and dancing on tables... When this image entered my mind this morning, on the train going to work, I was a little shocked and a little confused and uugh, wait what?

But I'll take it. It was a big penis afterall. If only I could remember what it was doing in my dream, well then I'd be a bit happier. For now I'm left picturing this (I'm kind of thinking it was my high school ex Zach) and wondering whyyy oh why I had such a mysteriously vague sexual dream.

I think my mind, heart and vajayjay are gaining forces and telling me to get out there and get some action.

But then THAT stream of thought reminds me of what I was thinking about walking home from work yesterday. Before this dream.

I was walking down the street thinking of what the conversation might look like with Precious Pete or German Lover Boy - that is if this conversation ever came up - about how I'm just so sick of hooking up.

(I get it, I still do it - whatever)

But really, I was venting in my imaginary conversation with my potential suitors (Pete and Pete) and I was just going on and on about how I've convinced myself that I'm ready to settle down. (Waaah? I'm 22...) Not ready to get married, but ready to find someone who is more than a hook up, not even just a drunk one night thing, but I'm ready to find someone who is more than a 3 month dating thing.. I want to meet a looooooooove. Someone who is ready to be serious. But then I'm reminded of all the people who have, rightfully so, told me that I'm not ready to be serious.

See I change my stance on this every other day. Some days I totally agree that I'm too young to be tied down and that I need to enjoy being on my own and really "savor the 'me' time." But the every other damn day, I'm lonely and on serious couple alert, hating couples that I see, miserable that I can't keep a guy in my life for more than a weekend and totally pissed at myself for sleeping with guys as if that will make them stick around.

Anyways, German Lover Boy is no longer in Germany. He's home, in the wonderful U S of A and we have progressed from Facebook talking and AIM to... text messages (hey it's a start isn't it?). And there is some new news on Precious Pete but seeing that it is 10:48a and I haven't started doing actual work yet, I suppose I'll get to those details later.

Until next time
ciao.