Ich bin verliebt

I Googled that.

I don't know a single word of German. Do you blame me? It's not exactly the prettiest looking, or sounding language. Anyways, it's not like Pete knows any German either. And this is Pete, who claims he is actually good at picking up languages, who has lived in Germany for 9 months now. He doesn't know a thing. He certainly doesn't know Ich bin verliebt which I just learned means I'm in love.

And I know, I know, I'm not actually in love - I'm not pretending to be, or even trying to convince myself I am. Awww, he shall be called German Lover Boy.

This is lust at its best. Like the giddy, can't stop smiling when he sends me a message kind of lust. And sending messages is all we can do, after all, he is in Germany. BUT lucky me, this beautiful, tall, athletic, dark hair, big smile, Italian hunk is moving home TO AMERICA in 2 weeks. And his best friends just happen to live down the road from my new apartment. Oh isn't it wonderful how some things work themselves out?

So this brings me to a very important (must try and think about this one before I get myself all worked up over something that's just destined to crash and burn) point. I have a eh hem... tendency... long history, bad habit, of...

only wanting what I can't have.

Spare me the gasps and the rolling of the eyes. I get it, this is nothing new. It's actually so cliche that I'm a bit disappointed in myself. I should have come up with something new. Some bad habit that's all my own.

Well I didn't. I like the chase. I like the flirting and the lust and all the good stuff that comes before well, before I get whatever it is I thought I wanted. Play Train song in background: "In a world that what we want is only what we want until it's ours." Yea, yea, yea.

So I'm a little afraid that as soon as German lover boy over there across the pond comes home, and we hang out... well, I'll get over him. How presumptuous of me! Isn't it? I mean, that's assuming that this hunk of a man enjoys my company, wants to spend time with me, even likes me just a little bit. Whatever, I also have a tendency of thinking all these things will come true. I try and avoid calling this cocky or overconfident - because I'm far from either... and I don't like saying that I'm just being an optimist - because, well I'm most cynical.

I think it's best to give myself the least amount of credit here and say I'm just damn desperate, and obsessed with men. Since they are all I think about, boyfriend, dating, hooking up, husband - well I have to assume he's going to like me when he gets home. Otherwise that puts a quick end to my daydreaming...

And I still have 2 weeks to daydream about how perfect we could be :)

I will certainly keep you updated. We have a big date planned for when he arrives! Yes, I said it... a DATE. Like he asked me out on a date. Kind of, I mean we both talked about hanging out and agreed on it, but nooow the way he talks about it, it's like a date.

So go with me here, I never get asked out on dates. Again, I'm sure (I hope, I tell myself) it has nothing to do with me or my crazy basketcase-ness... it's just that no one goes on legit dates anymore. Not at my college and not at my age. Maybe later in my twenties the dating world will resurface. I hope?